We live in a world that is constantly moving between defining a woman’s place being in the home, or at work. Sometimes and often times, both. As men, we prefer to define ourselves as the workers, the ones who peg our being on provision and bringing the bacon home, a concept women are nullifying in totality lately.
Rachel hired me when we were in university. My job? To be her chief campaigner in her quest to be a student leader. I was tasked with the role of managing goons, getting to package her manifesto well enough to appeal to the public and also ensure she got endorsements from the required parties. Before accepting that role, I thought hard. This was a woman, giving me such a hard task to do, would I hack it? Mark you, the previous year, I was to vie as a student leader chairperson myself, but got off the race from lack of resources and other reasons, but my name was well known. Backing Rachel meant that, I was pro women leadership, and more so, had removed the claws of our tribal differences, set them aside and believed in her dream. I said yes.
We did not win the election, but I won the girl, a statement my father in law joked the first time I visited them at Rachel’s home when I was admitting to them that I had got their beloved daughter pregnant. That day, moving with her parents’ blessings, I knew one of the key reasons her dad did not shoot me, was from my illustration that I respected his daughter and had shown that I could support her causes through the election period. This was so important, having in mind the rough path we went through during the campaign period. From betrayals, to corrupt officials, to her tribal marginalization among others. Boy, I stood with my girl!
Fast forward in our marriage, I was jobless for many months, with short contracts coming and some ending too soon. Rachel had to wear the pants in our marriage to match up and I supported her. For many of us, our women contributing in opinion, decisions and wisdom is a No-Go zone. We are often disillutioned into thinking that these creatures are meant to be seen and not heard, failing to tap into the wisdom of the statement ’Two is better than one’. Here are some ways you can push your relationship further by tapping into the strengths of your woman.
Let her express her opinions openly
Yes, some women may be verbose, and we may opt to block her out completely. However, since she is the one who lives with you, she feels the biggest blunt of your decisions. Allow her to contribute to the well-being of the family by also listening to her opinions. Seek her counsel on issues and you would be surprised how much she could open your eyes.
Delegate some duties to her
We marry because we seek companionship. It is an innate human need. That means, you can not do everything on your own. Why would you be running your house alone yet you chose someone else to run life’s race with you? A high number of men die of stress-related issues that are attributed to carrying the family load alone. Delegate tasks to your spouse. Discuss how she can support you in your investments, represent you in your social gatherings as well as other functions.
Support her dreams and ideas
I know of men who cannot believe that a woman can amount t anything. Funny because, she amounted to Your life partner! How crazy is that? To empower your woman, allow her to blossom. She is also creative and has a mind that can execute her desires, some of which you have no interest in. By supporting and developing her concepts, chipping in your opinions, advice and even finances, you are doing what you also expect her to do for you.
Express your vulnerabilities to her
Women respond very well to looking for solutions when there is adversity. It is hard for her to help uplift the family if you are unwilling to share that the family is going through financial distress for instance. Learn to be vulnerable to your partner as it creates an environment of togetherness. It means that you are sailing in the same boat and can help each other during the storm.
There you go, have an empowered woman, have an empowered home and an easier life as a man. Who doesn’t like easy?
