Seven years ago Greg and Georgina met in one of the many corporate networking events. He was tantalized by her beauty. He made his move and even though she didn’t like him at first sight she gave him the chance anyway. They would get married six months later. Greg was a salesman working with one of the big corporates, Georgina on the other hand was in advertising doing scripts for a TV commercial.
A year into their marriage she got pregnant and Greg told her to quit her job. A second born would later follow further lengthening her stay at home. Greg was traveling and getting busier and busier while his wife was getting more and more lonely and tired and frustrated.
One day she decided to inbox an old male friend from high school. They exchanged contracts and soon unending WhatsApp chats began. At first, it was the usual catch-up, what are you doing and all. But even that came to an end. And when it seemed to be nothing to talk about, she started opening up to him on what was going on in her relationship.
They graduated to a series of late-night chats and long phone calls. “Can we meet up for lunch?” Brian asked. Without hesitation, she said yes. As she drove home that night after the lunch, she wished it was all a dream. She had just betrayed their vows.
Greg later found out and filed for a divorce despite his wife pleading desperately for forgiveness.
It’s been three months since they went their separate ways and as I spoke to Georgina it was clear the woman is still madly in love with her ex-husband and insists what happened was a mistake she regrets.
What would you have done if you were Greg? Is it possible for you to forgive?
A man’s ego is one of the most fragile things in this world. Men are so protective of it, such that a small poke is instantly met with aggression. It has become this mysterious shield that men use to protect themselves from societal expectations. One such area is infidelity.
Society has already described to us how a woman is supposed to be, what she should wear, who she should talk to, where she should be, even how she should have sex. The list is endless. But little can be said about men.
Men cheat and lie every day. In fact, you’d agree with me that we are at the verge of making it official for them to cheat on their spouses.
Woman on the other hand cheat and they are instantly shown the door.
But really, is it possible to forgive your wife if she cheats on you? I say yes, using these steps:
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Giving Her a Chance To Explain Everything
No reason whatsoever justifies any form of bad behavior, but please it will go a long way if you can give her a chance to explain herself. Simply seat there and objectively listen. Let her tell you the why, when, how, and where. This information will be important for you and your closure.
Taking Time To Think About It
Listening is only one part. The other is acting on the information that you’ve been given. This is by far the trickiest part and the most crucial. The truth of the matter is, you are at this point mad, angry, and even hopelessly disappointed. As such it’s not the best time to make a rational decision. Take time to cool off. I would recommend having some distance between the two of you. Find somewhere that you can get to be alone. Take your time, you’ll most likely come out with a decision that is best. Including giving your wife a second chance.
Ask All The Questions That You May Want Answered
Sometimes as men our ego doesn’t allow us to to listen let alone ask questions. If you do get to this point, ask all the questions you may have. Leave no stone unturned, even if it’s not for the future of the relationship but for your own personal growth. Sometimes as men we think it’s such a shame for our women to cheat on us but actually, it has nothing to do with us. It’s a moral issue that only the person who has done it should be accountable.
Go For Therapy Together
By this time I believe you have probably made up your mind to give the relationship a second chance. Investing in marriage therapy will be a great way to start on a clean slate. With the help of a professional, you’ll make new commitments and rewrite your expectations. It will not be easy that I assure you, but with patience, you’ll both get there.
Forgive And Don’t Remind Her of It Again
Forgiveness is the final seal. Let go of what happened. Assure her that she’s forgiven and don’t bring it up later in your subsequent misunderstandings. No one wants to be reminded of their past mistakes. Pray for grace amidst all this and hope that your heart is molded back again because, to be honest, it hurts to be betrayed.
It is hard for men to forgive in such cases but it’s possible, it only requires intent and purpose. And just like Christ forgive us even though we were a filthy generation, you too can forgive your partner.
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