Staying with a nagging wife is like a mosquito constantly buzzing in your area at night and you cant really smash it. It can harm your mental health, make you doubt yourself as you aim to figure out effective means of communication.
During our counselling sessions, we met a couple which in the group class shared that their issue was communication. The man said the wife was constantly nagging while the wife felt that the husband was not responding to her needs. It had got to such a bad point such that he had been diagnosed with hypertension and could not take the nagging anymore. I knew my wife was heading to that route too, so we opted to take that counselling session seriously. Here is what the men were advised in dealing with their nagging wives.
Protect Your Mental Health
Your emotions may be all over the place from the constant nagging. You may be struggling to know what to do and it could really be pressuring you emotionally. Trying to calm down by doing breathing exercises can help you to avoid boiling up at the moment. You can also excuse yourself from the conversation and walk away politely. Tell your wife that you are unable to engage at that time so that you avoid saying things you may regret. You can also keep your mental health in heck by venting your frustrations to a friend, and that way you are able to get it off your chest. Remember to practice self care, and while at it assess and acknowledge what and how you are feeling.
The Power in Asserting Yourself
When dealing with a nagging wife, you need a sense of reassurance, and clarity. Otherwise, the volcano in you is near explosion. Be sure to define where the problem is and clarify your feelings. Are you being petty, or is there something that you are actually failing to do deliberately? This will help you stop circumnavigating on the same spot. It could be that your wife is nagging you over a simple task which you can clarify to her that you shall do later. Another way of asserting self is offering to negotiate with your wife, and avoiding blame statements. One of the best ways is by approaching the conversation with I statements. For instance, “I feel like you should give me more time to take the trash out”, sounds better than, “You never give me space to take the trash.” Such a way of initiating a conversation will be a good ground for you to negotiate on the issue that is causing the nagging.
The Communication Bit
Listening to your wife effectively by asking her objective questions is a way to dive into the issue deeper. Seek to lower your defenses and give her space to talk, not to nag. Aim to also find ways to agree, as well as show affection to her. Some of the reasons why women settle for the nagging method is because their emotional needs are not being met, hence this method is co-joined to solve that problem. While you are ensuring that you have addressed her emotional needs, be keen to make sure that you are heard as well. It does not mean that you compromise on everything, otherwise she may think that the method works.
Finally, assume that your wife has good intentions at heart and put yourself in her shoes. Is it really true that you are not doing your part, and how can you improve? When you do your part, you have a right to say that you have done all you can, and she has a responsibility to change her behavior. Counselling is always a great option so as to have a third party.