In a world that has somewhat over-glorified being obese in the name of self-love, it’s becoming more and more difficult to talk to your spouse about her body weight without her playing victim and rendering you insensitive. So the question is, how do you do it? How do you communicate this issue to her in a way that she feels loved and valued? And more importantly, encourage her to take action.
First, You’ll need to understand the following.
A number of things come to play whenever a woman is dealing with body weight which you need to be aware of. This way, you’ll not only be sensitive in your choice of words but also understand and accord her grace. These are some of those fundamentals that you’ll have to consider:
Does Her Body Gain Weight Faster?
Our bodies metabolize differently, and depending on her metabolism she’ll either be metabolizing faster or slow. If she falls in the faster category, it means gaining weight faster than usual making it a little harder and complicated than your average normal person.
Is it Biological/genetic?
Obesity can be genetic. You stand a high chance of being obese if either of your parents has had obesity. In fact, the issue has been so common in recent times that more research is being called for in the area. Do a background check, see whether she has a history of obesity in her family. Once you have your finding, let it guide you on the best way to talk to her about it.
One in a hundred people gain weight whenever they are stressed. Weight gain is actually one of the symptoms of stress for many. This is by large due to stress eating associated with many, who use food as a coping mechanism. Therefore, if your partner is gaining weight drastically, check her eating habits, has it changed in any way? Chances are she could be going through stress and it would not be the best time to talk to them about their weight. If anything it might work on the reverse by adding more stress to them, leading to even more eating and more weight gain.
Afterbirth baby weight/fat
Baby weight or sometimes known as baby fat is the weight that a woman usually adds when they are expectant. It’s a natural biological process that is supposed to naturally go away after the baby is born. However, that’s not the case for many women who have to deal with it for a very long time. If this is the case for your woman, be patient or even find ways to accommodate her sexy new self.
Last on this list is eating disorders. A high percentage of guys are dealing with eating disorders with women being the most affected. There are many eating disorders and it will be important for you to inform yourself on each one and determine whether your spouse could be suffering from any of them. And if so seek medical attention.
Important to note also, body image/issue by itself is very sensitive, therefore it requires thought and consideration before giving advice or opinion to anyone.
How To Go About Talking To Her about it.
- Organize A Romantic Date
This is not going to be your normal date. It’s meant to set the mood and lift her spirits. Choose a location that most likely takes you guys back to when you were dating. Carry your photo album and go through it as an activity, appreciate how she looked back then and expressed your concerns with how she looks now. Do this in a romantic loving tone. Make sure you come out as concerned rather than commanding and condescending.
3. Don’t Make It About You
A lot of the time when men talk to their women about the weight it’s always more about how her weight makes them feel than how it is affecting the woman. They usually come from a point of, what their friends think, or family or colleagues. But what this does, gives the woman an impression that all you care about is yourself and your needs. So make sure it’s about her and show genuine concern.
4. Ask Her How She Feels About Herself.
When is the last time you asked your woman how she feels about herself? You’ll be surprised that some of the things you want to talk to her about she has also been trying to talk to you about them. On one of your romantic nights or after steamy sex as you cuddle, pop that question in a way that encourages her to truly open up to you. Make this a habit that you do let’s say every three months.
5. Lead By Example
Some things are best communicated with action. If she’s overweight chances are you’d like her to work on it. So instead of trying to talk to her about it. Lead her in a workout session. Let her know that it’s a way that you guys can get to spend time together and bond. That way you even get to kill two birds with one stone
Now that you know how to communicate to her about her body weight, here are some of the things you should never do.
- Beating around the Bush.
I know you are already guilty of this. Some of you try to communicate the topic without actually saying it. You use words like “I think you should start going to the gym” “do you think you are fat?” If you are not sure how to communicate with her about it, just avoid it together.
2. Using Her Friends To Talk To Her.
However much you are unable to talk to her, please don’t use her friends. This is a personal issue that should be dealt with by you. You can consult a trusted friend on how to go, but even so, be very careful less it gets to her.
3. Paying For Her A Gym Subscription
This is the most common. You find men simply walking into a gym paying and then go home to tell the woman to start going to the gym. As much as it seems like a kind gesture it’s very inconsiderate and most likely you’ll be greatly disappointed when she fails to go.
4. Telling Her To Eat Less.
Just because someone is overweight does not necessarily mean they are overeating. Therefore until you are completely certain that her weight is being caused by overeating, don’t tell her to go easy on those yummy stakes.
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People are very sensitive about their weight, women in particular really get worked up about it, you probably know that by now. So just be sensitive.