When Steve called me and wanted to meet up urgently, I knew something was up. They had been fighting with the wife for some months. “I want her to quit her job and stay at home Jeff!” Steve finally spoke after two shots of vodka “But why?” I asked. Steve gave no reason whatsoever. His was a decision made and cast on stone.
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Cases like this have been on the rise, women are constantly being put under pressure to quit well-paying jobs all in the name of, “staying home and taking care of it” I have no problem with anybody staying at home especially when kids are involved. As a matter of fact, I strongly believe that either of the parents should be present in the first two years of a child’s development.
Times have changed, you and I clearly know it. Women are now empowered, not like before when they were only restricted to the confines of a home. They go to school, start businesses, get employed and even own property. This has helped to improve the family income by up to 30%. Men are less stressed because they don’t have to shoulder the whole burden of provision. And the family is insured just in case any of the spouses suddenly passes on. These are just but a few benefits that our society now enjoys due to women being empowered. So why would you want your woman to quit her job again?
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For those of you who are thinking of telling your wives to quit, or have been battling with your wives about it, here are a few things to think about first:
Is She On The Same Page With You
Women just like you, have dreams and aspirations. They go to school just like you and have got their whole life planned. When they get married to you, those dreams don’t suddenly die. If anything, it is always their hope that they have found a sole partner who will help them achieve those dreams. As such, as the man of the house, before you come with any decisions, it would be important to consult her because she will be affected directly. Trust me, you don’t want to live with someone whose dreams you have crashed.
How Will That Decision Affect The Family Financially
In these tough economic times, you need all the finances you can get. A working wife guarantees that you’ll be able to achieve your goals as a family within a short period of time. Furthermore, it’s safer in case one of you dies. Previously, when only you as the man was working, your demise would throw the family in limbo. Check your accounts, see if they will balance, then make the decision.
Would You Also Do it If It Came To It?
In all the cases that I have heard, men are never thinking that they can also quit. I don’t understand why, but in case you want her to quit, be flexible that you can also do it. Be able to seat with her and evaluate both scenarios. How will the family benefit if either of you were to quit?
Will You Pay Her An Allowance
This debate has been there for a long time, other countries have even passed it as a law to pay a stay-at-home parent. The argument has been that household work is just as much work as the normal eight to five job. Therefore, will you be paying her, and if so how much? Will it equate to what she’s giving up by quitting? If you are able to answer these questions, and she’s okay with it, then it will be absolutely fine.
What’s Your Motive?
This is the most important of them all. What’s your motive? Why do you want her to quit? In the case of my friend Steve, he couldn’t answer. As far as he was concerned, women are supposed to stay at home. Many men are known to use this as a form of control. To them a working wife represents competition, it makes them insecure and out of control. If this is why you want her to give up her career then you are completely misled. Never aim to control your partner, simply love them and there will be no need for control.
Quitting a job is such a personal issue that shouldn’t be a decision left only in the hands of one person. You are her husband, not her boss. Make it a discussion and let her decide.
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