Silent treatment is when you don’t verbally converse with your partner for a while, passing them like they don’t exist. Many people use this as a form of emotional abuse especially to manipulate or control the other partner.
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Read along as I take you through; Toxic silent treatment.Reasons why people use it, How it relates to abuse and Ways on how to deal with it.
Reasons Why People Use It
Avoidance: This is when one stays silent because they have nothing to say or just want to avoid conflict.
Communication: Using the silent treatment to show that they’re upset and thus they can’t express their feelings verbally.
Punishment: This isn’t a positive reason for giving your partner silent treatment. It’s a bad form of emotional abuse caused by the urge to exert power or control over your partner.
Silent treatment is not a productive way to handle disagreements in a relationship. Both genders use this and it makes it hard to resolve conflicts effectively. Clear and direct communication is always the best option in a relationship.
When a partner tries to express their feelings and the other partner ignores them it tends to bring up negative emotions like anger and stress. Being ignored may also lower your self-esteem, show you that you don’t belong or have no meaning to the family.
A partner may be using silent treatment in an abusive way when they do it intentionally to hurt the other partner or when they extend that silence for too long and ending it only when they decide to.
Another form of abusive silent treatment is when a partner talks to other people and seeks their assistance but avoids talking to their partner. Sometimes silence can be used abusively by making your partner feel guilty and manipulating them thus pressuring them to change their behavior. If taken for granted, emotional abuse probably leads to physical abuse
Effective Ways To Deal With Silent Treatment
Some partners respond negatively to silent treatment and turn out abusive which is quite dangerous. Avoid that situation completely but if it’s not a part of a larger pattern of abuse, here, are some effective approaches you may want to try and see the positive outcome.
Name The Situation: Once you notice that your partner is giving you the silent treatment, it’s effective to ask them why they aren’t talking to you.That one question may help you start engaging on what the problem is and how to deal with it.
Use “I” Statements: Using this to show your partner how you truly feel works perfectly. Saying “Hi sweetheart, I’m feeling so painful and stressed by this silent treatment and I wouldn’t mind knowing what’s wrong and how I can help resolve it.”
Give the other person’s feelings an ear: Listening to what your partner is going through and what they feel truly helps pave way for a healthy conversation and show your partner that their feelings are important and valid. It’s advised to stay away from your partner if they tend to turn abusive until they calm down. If it’s too serious, visit a doctor or seek help somewhere immediately.
Apologize: If your partner chooses to use the silent treatment as a way to respond to the situation, don’t let it bother you or make you feel like apologizing. However, if you said or did something to trigger that silent treatment, apologize immediately. Avoid being so defensive.
Cool off and look for a time to sit and resolve the issue: Some partners may choose silent treatment because they are too hurt or angry to even talk. It might suddenly escalate the situation to higher heights by saying something. You both need to take time to cool off and look for a time when everything has calmed down, to discuss and resolve that issue. Don’t provoke your silent partner to speak, it may end up causing havoc.
My advice to you is to try as much as possible to take a close look at the density of that silent treatment especially depending on your relationship. There is nothing to worry about if your relationship is healthy and strong but if you’re in an abusive relationship, try to seek help immediately before things turn horrible.
If you notice that your partner is an abusive person, jump out of that relationship immediately and look for a better partner. Generally, the silent way is an unhealthy form of communication and even if it helps in self-protection, it doesn’t make it something to use regularly. People who often do this are advised to immediately seek assistance before ending up messing that relationship.
All I can tell you is there’s is no need for that silent treatment in the first place, why do it and cause all those problems while you could just communicate verbally and resolve your issues thus maintain that healthy relationship.